Home » Subscriptions » Are You Aware? » All Articles » Helping Children Handle Deployment - Part I
Child Care Connector
Print page Send a link
Bookmark & Share
Disclaimer
The National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA) and Child Care Aware do not endorse nor are we responsible for the information or materials posted on any of the resource’s websites.Helping Children Handle Deployment - Part I
March 09, 2006
(Helping Children Handle Deployment Part II)
As the Global War on Terrorism continues, so does the deployment of many service members. The deployment takes a toll on all family members, children included. Children across the country are dealing with having to live apart from a mother, father, and possibly at times both parents who have been called to serve their country. Below is an article from www.survivingdeployment.com intended to offer information for helping children through this difficult time. Survivingdeployment.com offers many additional resources for families of deployed service members. Rachel Robertson writes:
How Children React to Stress
Many of us who have coped with deployment before can vouch for the fact that our kids sometimes seem a bit restless, often moody and occasionally downright unmanageable. It is important to remember that these behaviors are often the ways children express negative feelings like fear, worry, anxiety, and loneliness. Children show us how they are feeling by their actions more than through their words, so we must pay careful attention to body language and behavior. While parents need not allow inappropriate behavior, simply punishing these behaviors won't stop them and may actually compound them.
What Kids Need
Inevitably, families change when someone is deployed. Routines change and the mood of the parent at home changes. The American School Counselor Association and the National Association of School Psychologists have many suggestions for parents and school personnel to focus on when supporting a child of a deployed parent.
- Consistency and Routine Above all else, kids need routine, consistency and structure during this time. They are feeling insecure because of all of the uncertainties regarding the deployment and they need a predictable routine and home life.
- Good Communication Kids often have a lot of questions during deployment. Daily, honest (yet age appropriate) discussions about feelings (yours and theirs) can help ease tension and relieve concerns.
- Attention and Good Times This is a great time to plan special events and start new hobbies. Children can feel neglected during deployments because one parent is gone and the other parent is busy and stressed. Children should have many opportunities to feel loved and special during the deployment.
- Healthy Lifestyle Not only do children need to have fun but they need to be healthy. They should maintain healthy diets, have opportunities for exercise and not spend all their time in front of the TV.
- To Be a Kid Do not discuss your fears in depth with them and do not expect them to take the place of your spouse. Also, be careful about how much exposure your child has to the news. When my husband was gone, I was glued to CNN and only realized I needed to limit my TV watching when my four year old asked me, “Why is that building blowed up?”
- Reassurance In deployment situations, children often feel a loss of control and stability; they have experienced a major change and could do nothing to prevent it from occurring. Reminding them that you will always love them no matter what and that you will survive this deployment together will help ease their anxiety.
- A Good Behavior Plan While it is important to understand that misbehavior during deployment can be a result of negative feelings, it is also important to set limits and maintain the consequences. Parents can eliminate a lot of problems by making a chart and pre-determining consequences for specific behaviors. For example, if you don't put your bike away you will lose bike privileges for one day. Parents can also set up positive behavior controls such as sticker charts or marble jars.
- Physical and Emotional Expressions of Love Hugs, high-fives and “I Love You” go a long way in helping children cope with difficult situations.
Reprinted with Permission ©Rachel Robertson
For more information and resource regarding support for families of deployed service members:
National Military Families Association
« Previous | All Articles | Next »
