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The National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA) and Child Care Aware do not endorse nor are we responsible for the information or materials posted on any of the resource’s websites.Taking the Bully By the Horns
November 21, 2005
Studies show that spending more time with your children prevents behavioral problems. "The frequency and severity of bullying is related to the amount of adult supervision that children receive – bullying behavior is reinforced when it has no or inconsistent consequences." 1 Below, you will find information useful in aiding families who are dealing with issues of bullying.
What can you do to stop your child from becoming a bully?
• Talk to your child. Set aside a time in your day to communicate with your child whether it is at the dinner table or as you are driving in the car together.
• Be active in your child's life. Attend sport practices, games, school activities, and/or develop your own special activity with your child.
• Use positive reinforcement/discipline. "Never use hitting or spanking as a punishment." 2 Redirecting is a great positive disciplinary action. "Teach your child that hitting, pushing, and shoving others is never okay." 2
• Help your child develop empathy and caring. Teach you child to think about how their behavior will affect others and themselves. Teach them to weigh their options and think about the outcome of their behavior.
What if your child is the bully? How can you help your child stop bullying? Children who are constantly teased at home or at school will develop a low self-esteem. "Home should be a safe haven, where children aren't subjected to uncomfortable, harsh criticism from family and loved ones."3 Families should love and support each other, not tease and hurt each other. Maintain a positive home atmosphere. Here are some tips to encourage your child to give up bullying:
- Let your child know that bullying is a serious problem and that you will not tolerate it. There will be consequences.
- Teach your child to respect and be caring towards others who are different.
- Research to see if your child's friends are bullies. If so, inform the school personnel.
- Set limits. Put a stop to any aggressive actions that your child may have.
- Praise appropriate behaviors.
- Stay in contact with school personnel about your child's behavior and ask how the school personnel can help.
- Set realistic goals.
1 National Association of School Psychologist. Bullying Prevention: What Schools and Parents Can Do . (2005).
2 University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension. Why Do Some Children Bully Others? Bullies and Their Victims . (April, 2002).
3 Pendley, Jennifer Shroff, PhD. Bullying and Your Child . (November, 2004).
Resources:
Bullying What Can Parents Do To Help Their Children?
Think You Know What a Bully Looks Like? Think Again
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