All In The Family

Why parents often choose a relative caregiver:

Comfort because children are generally more at ease with people they know.
Love and attention if it's a close family member who has a genuine affection for your child.
Trust because you know them well and you know what values you share.
Flexibility to meet your schedule, especially if it is part-time, evening hours or rotating shifts.
Familiar location in your or a relative's home.

There can also be problems…

Relative care can be lonely for the child and your relative.
Child care raises unexpected and sensitive issues that can complicate family relationships.
You and your relative may underestimate how time consuming and tiring it is to provide child care.
Ideas about discipline may differ.
Children's needs change as they grow, and you may need to change child care arrangements.

Making it work smoothly for everyone…

Take time to talk regularly, when children are not around.
Discuss and clarify your ideas about discipline and how you want your relative to set rules and guide your child.
Talk about your child's daily routines: sleep, crying, feeding and outdoor play.
Make sure your relative has the time, energy and health to keep up with your child.
Ask if your relative sees this as a long term or short term arrangement.
Discuss plans with your relative about television, reading, friends, and chores for your child.

Remember, SAFETY FIRST!

Double check for child safety in your or a relative's home. Use a safety checklist.
Prepare for emergencies with a safety plan, a fire extinguisher, medical and allergy information and a list of work, fire and emergency phone numbers.
Agree on who may pick up your child.
Remember, safety for a young child means no hitting or shaking.

Paying a relative for child care should be in an agreement.

Be clear about exactly when and how you'll pay your family member.
Write down your agreement so there is no misunderstanding about your arrangements and payments.
You'll need to agree about holidays, vacations, and sick days for your child or relative.
Be creative. In addition to money, what can you do to show your appreciation?
Learn about Child Care Agreements (32 KB) and tax implications from your local child care resource and referral agency.

Families are forever… Keeping good relationships.

Offer to pay for a first aid and CPR class.
Ask your family member what might be helpful to them in doing child care.
Call your child care resource & referral agency to see what information is available for relative caregivers. Ask about resources like toy libraries, story hours and community activities.
If you change child care, remember, your relative caregiver is still family!

When there are problems…

Find the right time and place to talk about it, when you are both relaxed.
Express gratitude for all your family does for your child.
Keep the focus on the child.
Show respect for your relative's point of view, even when you disagree.
Think about how to avoid the problem in the future.
Decide if you are still comfortable with the arrangements or if you will need to start looking for other child care.

You may need to make a change…

But family is still family…